The impact of past experiences and trauma on relationships and how couples therapy can help

Being in a relationship where one or both partners has had negative experiences or past trauma is often challenging. 

Example of past experiences or trauma

• Death of someone close

• Abuse: physical, emotional, psychological, etc

• Neglect

• Serious illness

• Bullying

The effects of these experiences can be reflected as anger, distrust, dissociation, anxiety, crying, silence, depression and violence. When behaviours related to these events manifest in current situations, they may be difficult to trace back to their origin as the partner may not know why they’re feeling this way. This can make it tough to understand what is happening and why.

However, even when you do know why, it can be especially difficult to break out of established feelings and patterns. And your partner may experience frustration being caught up in situations they didn’t create or in which they have no control. Additionally, they may not know how to provide support.

How couples counselling helps

• Unwind past experiences and harmful responses

• Understand triggers

• Build trust and healthy responses

• Develop compassion and loving interactions

Couples counselling helps couples experiencing distress in their relationship. By providing a safe environment and clear guidelines, couples can begin to unwind past experiences and reactionary responses. A counsellor assists partners in understanding triggers and building trust. The goal is to develop compassion and healthy interactions that help partners heal from past issues and traumas so they can enjoy the warm and loving relationship they both desire.

Are you ready to address relationship issues tied to past experiences or trauma? Look for a counsellor in Surrey like Alison Bell & Associates who has extensive training in couples counselling. Our counsellors help couples get back to a life freed from the weight of their past traumatic experiences. 

Alison and her clinical team specialize in couples counselling in Surrey and will be happy to speak with you to answer any of your questions in person or by email. Contact us here, or call 604-372-1545.